Too hurt to Forgive?

'Katherine' was a young  and beautiful lady, the admiration and desire of many men.  Her life took a sharp turn on a fateful day when she found herself at a robbery scene.  She was attacked, robbed, raped and mercilessly beaten up by the armed robber at gun point. Devastatingly, she walked to the hospital for treatment and the doctor told her she was HIV positive.

Her life was messed up, her dreams and hopes evaporated, and she contemplated taking her life. At this junction of melancholy and emptiness, she met Jesus and Jesus gave her a hope and a dream. With her HIV, she became a 'positive Evangelist', travelling around the world to preach love and to restore the lost to Christ.

As she gradually rose to prominence, the story of how God uses an HIV positive woman to save millions of lives instilled hope and faith in many people. But God was not through with our dear sister.

During one of her crusades, she delivered a wonderful sermon on the Love of Christ, Repentance and Forgiveness, and she invited people to the podium. As usual, many men and women rushed out to confess their sins and to accept Christ. As she was about to lead them to Christ, her eyes caught one of the people rushing out and she recognized him as the culprit that raped her and gave her HIV.

In the twinkling of an eye, painful memory of the incidence flashed on her mind and shivers of hot hatred ran down her spines. She wanted to tear him down with claws and teeth, and unleash Holy Ghost Fire on him. If I were in her shoes, I am sure I may be tempted to do worse.

She pointed at him and asked him to stand up, with the intention of separating him from the crowd and telling him "your case is different, you have a special hell fire waiting for criminals like you". She wanted to hand him over to the police, but then, the gentle voice of the Holy Spirit interfered and said to her: If you will not forgive this man his sins, neither will God forgive you your sins.

She paused, and thought " that must be the devil's speaking to me." But then, Matthew  6:14-15 became revealed to her:

"For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you; but if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

Right infront of everyone, she broke into tears as she realized how difficult it was for her to forgive the criminal, and let him go. It is easy to preach forgiveness when you have not been the victim of a calculated preconceived attrocity.

As this woman narrated her ordeal to the crowd, the man also broke down into tears and begged for forgiveness. As she opened up her heart and arms to forgive and to lead him to Christ, her HIV was healed and more souls were won to Christ.

This article is in response to a friend's question: How can I forgive and forget an offense; when the memory of the hurt is still fresh, and the offender is not repentant.

In your case, the offender may be your father, mother, fiance, fiancee, spouse, friend etc. I know how hurtful you may be feeling right now, and you may truly want an avenge. But hold on, let me tell you the truth, the greatest judgement you can give a man is to forgive him and tell God to do as He wishes with him. It is a win win situation. That sounds funny right? Read this 2 points about forgiveness

1. Forgiveness gives you freedom of mind.

Unforgiveness means building a prison in your mind to hold your offenders.  The danger of this prison is that it keeps you too in a prison, you are imprisoned in your prison. I am yet to meet an unforgiving man that has a happy life. I believe this is why David Willis said "holding a grudge does not make you strong; it makes you bitter. Forgiving does not make you weak; it sets you free"

Sure, forgiveness does not come easy, but when you understand what unforgiveness is costing you, you will realize that the loss outweighs the gain. Not only will God not be able to forgive you, God may not also be able to discipline your offenders because you have taken up his job as the judge.

2. Forgiveness creates capacity for increase in you.

Unforgiving people are usually sad and dejected. Even when their offenders are busy enjoying life, they choose to stay in their self imprisonment. This prison is occupying the space that some of your prayer points, perhaps that is why some of your long standing prayer requests are still unanswered.

Forgiveness is also an act of Humility and unforgiveness is an act of Pride, God resists the proud and gives grace to the humble. By default, unforgiveness positions you in a resistant angle with God and leads to downfall; while genuine forgiveness entitles you for grace and lifting.

Once again, I know it may be difficult to forgive in some circumstances, but the gain is greater than the loss. Ask God for the grace to forgive expressly and enjoy a life of freedom and Joy.

(PN: The story in this article is inspired and coined from the Holocaust experience of Corrie Ten Boom)


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