Three things your Husband wants but he may not ask for (for married people!)

Your husband has desires; things he wants you know and do to him but does not know how to tell you.

If you really wish to improve your relationship, make your husband more loving, more romantic, or more caring? Then, stop whining on him and try these three things;

    1.     He wants more Honor (find his Honor Language)

Every husband has a language of honor and sometimes, only few smart wives take time to find it. If that sounds strange to you, you may have been missing the exciting part of your husband as a result of your ignorance. Honoring someone means treating him with respect and high esteem. 

To some men, honor means listening to them when they talk, paying attention and encouraging them to talk more. I see some women rudely interrupting their husbands when he is talking without apologies. Common now, he may be too shy to correct you about this, but may be hurting about it.

To some men, honor means public recognition; letting your friends and relatives know how much he means to you. Some wives don’t care about this; some of their friends don’t even know they are married. Talk well about him.

Your husband has his personal definition of honor; how he wishes to be honored, and he daily desires to be honored this way by people, most especially the people he loves - YOU. Don’t take his desire for honor for granted.

Another word for honor is “holy”, which means to be set apart for a higher purpose. Your husband does not need to earn your honor before you give it, because marriage "sets him apart" from other men for the purpose of receiving honor from you. This is also vice-versa.

Honoring your husband rightly may give you all your desires from him. When a man truly feels honored, he can break the barricades of his benevolence and reservation to exceed your expectations and grant you your desires.

Are you giving your husband enough honor? The only person that can answer that question is YOUR HUSBAND, and not you. Don’t hastily conclude your husband is feeling honored. Many wives innocently dishonor and respectfully hurt their husbands. This is because we usually treat people the way we want to be treated and NOT THE WAY THEY WANT TO BE TREATED

          2. He wants better Sex/Romantic Experience (find out his sexual desires)

Dear wife, take control of the sexual atmosphere of your home both with prayers and with action. Use prayers to re-calibrate any sexual dysfunction in your marriage, and use your feminine powers to ignite the romantic climate on fire for love.

Don’t just pray, pay serious attention to his sexual needs/desires and don’t wait for him to always initiate sex. Try initiating it and do not settle for monotonous sexual styles. 

Be creative, even the bible says “whatsoever your hand finds to do, do it well.” You can read Songs of Solomon for more sexual concepts.

Become an attractive and exciting wife. Get smart! There are some clothes that your husband would love to see on you in the house but he may be too reserved to request for them. Seduce him, but do not use sex as a tool to get what you want; rather, see it as a blessing to promote oneness, happiness and fun into your marriage.

    3.     More Understanding (connect)

How much do you really know about the fears and hopes of your husband? Does he trust you enough to share his secret dreams and desires with you? If you study him to understand him, he will open up more to you and you will enjoy him better. The bible says good understanding releases favor. (Proverbs 13:15).

Until your husband can open up to you, there will be a level of beauty in him and intimacy with him that you can never experience. Learn to ask him questions to initiate conversations. The goal is not to tell him your opinion, but to understand his opinion; why he thinks so. 

Your husband may have secret weaknesses and flaws. Some of these may require you accept them while some may need to be corrected. Do not be judgmental about his flaws and weaknesses, encourage transparency and sincerity. These bring couples into deeper levels of bonding and intimacy.

It does not matter who your husband is; a CEO, a Bishop or a leader; he needs an understanding helpmeet. The reason some husbands lie is because they believe their wives cannot handle their flaws. Beside every successful husband is an understanding wife.