Rules of Engagement- 3 (Friendship II)

       3.    Openness

Give your spouse freedom of expression. In some families, there are certain issues that they don’t talk about for fear of how the husband would react. This is unhealthy for the growth of love in the family.

Operating by a policy of openness means you encourage good confrontation from your wife, when she notices certain things she is not comfortable with, and you confront her when it is vice versa.

Secrecy causes insincerity and lead to suspicions. Ensure you encourage your spouse to be open with you on anything.

       4.   Commitment and Loyalty

Friendship requires commitment of time and resources. That is why, you should carefully make the investment in your spouse and children.

It has been discovered that when men are on their death beds, they usually have a common regret: “they wished they had spent more time with their family.” A wise man knows better. I heard of a wealthy man who puts off the TV anytime his wife or children needs his attention.

Friendship requires conscious and wise investment of time and energy. If you are not investing it in your spouse and family now, you will pay for it sooner or later.

One of the true tests of your commitment to your spouse is your ability to be committed when he/she needs you. Proverbs 18: 24 says “…and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.” Some friends are only friends as long as things are going fine with you. These are the descendants of Job’s wife.

       5.   Communication

Communication is the medium through which understanding is transferred. Marriages fail because of misunderstandings that couples usually call “irreconcilable differences.”

Good communication is a way of preventing such disagreements and reconciling such differences because it helps you explore the mind of your partner and understand your differences.

Good Communication is more of a skill than a gift; hence, it can be developed by practice. Any intimacy that is not built on good communication will not last because communication is the bedrock of friendship.

In conclusion o the rules of friendship, the health of your relationship with your spouse can be measured by the following; your level of sincerity, trust, openness, commitment and loyalty, and communication.