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Rules of Engagement 1: (Advanced Forgiveness I)



Advanced forgiveness is anticipating all the future possible offenses of your spouse, and forgiving her before he/she commits them.
Hold it right there! I can read your mind (smiles). I hear you think: how can I possibly forgive someone for what he has not done? Well, that is what this section is all about, and it is not as difficult as think it is, but it is very important to God

We choose to start with the rule of advanced forgiveness because the failure of many families and marriages are traced to issues of unforgiveness. 
Forgiveness is so important to God, that Jesus had to include it in the Lord ’s Prayer; He said: “forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us” In other words, God will only forgive you if you forgive others. Matthew 6:15 puts it in context: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

I assume Peter still did not understand God’s perspective on forgiveness. He asked Jesus: how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Peter reasoned it out; so he asked, Until seven times?

Please note the response of Jesus in the next verse, I believe it holds the key to reducing the issues of divorce and broken homes in our society. Jesus said to him, I do not say to you, Until seven times; but, Until seventy times seven ( Matthew 8:21).
If Jesus commands us to forgive our brother 490 times, how many times will he ask you to forgive your spouse; your very own flesh?

The Power of Advanced Forgiveness
There is a successful minister of God in Nigeria, whom someone asked about the secret of his success in ministry?” He replied that it is his relationship with his wife. According to him: “I have granted my wife advanced forgiveness”  This successful minister is Bishop David Oyedepo.
Show me a man that is a victim of unforgiveness, and I will show you a man that can go far in life. 
This is why some other “ministers”, although heavily anointed of God, yet struggle with same problem for decades. They nurture unforgiveness towards their spouses.

Of course, I am not saying that your spouse is perfect, or that you will not have “small or big” disagreements. God created you and He knows about your differences. But, differences notwithstanding, forgiveness is a choice. Someone says “God wants you to forgive others so that you can be free from the burden of unforgiveness.” Unforgiveness puts the mantle of burden and hardship on families.

Watchout for the next post...

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