Rules of Engagement- 3 (Friendship I)

Marry your friend...

Don’t just marry because you are sexually compatible with him/her, there is more to marriage than sex. There are days when sex will be useless in resolving your disagreements; marriage can only be truly sustained and enjoyed through friendship.

A dear pastor said: “Friendship is not just a type of relationship; it refers to the quality of a relationship.” Oxford dictionary defines a friend as “a person with whom one has a bond of mutual affection…”

The level of friendship you have with your spouse would ultimately determine the measure of intimacy you have with him/her. Friendship is a form of soulish intimacy; connection with the soul of another.

 Until you become friends with your spouse, there are certain goodies of marriage you are not entitled to - the will simply elude you. Friendship is not automatic, neither does it come by anointing impartation. It comes by intentional work. 

As I said in the last post, people don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care. Proverbs 18:24 says: A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.

Keys to Building Strong Friendship

1.     Sincerity 

An insincere friend is not a good friend. Any friendship that lacks sincerity is a dangerous relationship. Sincerity is the ability to express your genuine feelings without pretense or deceit.

Are you sincere with your spouse about issues? If you are insincere with your spouse, he/she will have a hard time trusting you. Sincerity is like cement, it determines the strength and quality of your relationship.

Be sincere with your spouse and encourage him/her too to be sincere with you. Remember, a man that has friends must show himself friendly (sincere).

2.        Trust

Trust is another important ingredient in building strong friendship. Trust is anchored on sincerity, because trust is extended to the limit of truth.

The virtuous woman was great friends with her husband. Proverbs 31:11 says “the heart of her husband doth safely trust in her.” This is possible because she operates on a policy of lifelong sincerity. Proverbs 31:12 says “she will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.”

to be continued...

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