Here are some of the things you stand to gain if you choose to walk in advanced forgiveness with your spouse:
1. Oneness.
Remember that the purpose of marriage
is oneness. Anything that threatens the oneness of your oneness is a big threat
to your marriage
2. Unconditional Love.
Forgiving your spouse in advance gives a deep reassurance
of your love and commitment towards him\her;
3. Strengthens your Home
How do you protect your home from people seek to
divide/break your home? Practice advanced forgiveness and you will secure your home from foxes that spoil the vine.
4. Answered Prayers.
Walking in advanced forgiveness will affect your prayer life. Unforgiveness opens a home to demonic activities. Any home where unforgiveness resides, things will naturally be hard.
The last thing Jesus did on the cross was to forgive his persecutors. Why? He knew that the accuser was on his way; but when he came, he found
nothing with Jesus.
How do you forgive
your spouse when he/she consistently hurts you?
As I said earlier on, forgiveness is a choice. You choose
who you forgive. To forgive someone who has been hurting you consistently, do
the following:
- · Choose to walk in Agape Love (not Eros or Phileo)
Some marriages are built on phileo love (brotherly love or mutual agreement). Although it sounds good,
it has limitations. The love is a brotherly love that is extended to someone as
long as that person remains loyal in words and deeds. So marriage needs more
than Phileo Love
In some marriages, the definition of
love is Eros. Sure, that sounds romantic, but it is built on sex. This kind of
love needs sex for survival. And, sex does not guarantee commitment. Marriage
needs more than Eros love.
Finally, the highest and purest form
of love is Agape Love. It is God’s designed love for marriages . If you choose
to walk in Agape, you will easily forgive your spouse his/her past, present and
future offences, because you draw your love from God (not from sex or the
loyalty of your spouse).
- Pray for your Spouse
There is a mystery behind praying
for someone you love. Even when they hurt you deeply, you draw out strength
from the spirit to forgive them and let it go. Your prayer also works on the
character of the person and produces an inner conviction and outward
conversion.
Using Peter and Jesus as example;
Peter was one of the closest disciples to Jesus, yet he crossed the offense
line several times. It was Peter that rebuked Jesus; it was Peter that cut off
someone’s hair (wanted the head); It was him that slept off during prayers. He also
denied Jesus three times.
After resurrection, it would have
been logical if Jesus had called Peter, lashed him and handed him over to the
devil. But guess what? Jesus did not even talk about it. By advanced
forgiveness, Jesus had forgiven and forgotten it. However, this was easy for
Jesus to do because He had been praying for Peter.
Unforgiveness with your spouse will only be an
issue if you have not been praying for him. If you start praying for your
spouse today, you will start loving him/her more despite his/her shortcomings.
As a closing note on the Rule of Advanced Forgiveness, when you forgive your spouse, choose to forget. Don’t bring out your "book of condemnation" to remind him/her about past offenses. That is the work of the accuser; you are not called
into the ministry of accusation. God says: Love your wife as Christ loved the
Church. Strive to forgive and forget.
Watchout for the next post.
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