FRIENDSHIP is a strong pillar to being intimate in marriage
It's a quality needed in a relationship but it has every tendency to wear out with time.
Before marriage partners put in a lot of work into their relationship, they do everything they can to sustain their relationship.
But after they eventually get married , they begin to drift apart unconsciously even while staying under the same roof.
The stress of everyday life (finances, work, children, ministry) tend to create distance between them.
Now couples prioritize their work, house chores, children, friends etc. over their marriage.
They take their relationship for granted and spend little or no time investing into the relationship.
They also tend to assume that things will automatically work out without taking necessary steps to sustain their relationship
For instance:
*A man who works 10hours a day will barely have time for his wife.
* A woman who spends most of her weekends traveling for business meetings will definitely not have the time to bond with her husband.
*A Pastor who spends every weekend attending to church members will barely have the time to attend to his wife's need.
The scenarios i just listed out can lead to one thing:
LACK OF FRIENDSHIP which can eventually lead to marital infidelity or divorce.
Come to think of it:
Back in those days when the world was not as busy as it is now, there was no case of divorce.
Couples found it easy to bond everyday after their daily activities.
You will find couples gisting every evening.
Let me shock you, even if you confess God's word concerning marriage daily and you don't take conscious steps to make your marriage work, you are just wasting your time.
Remember faith without works is dead...
You need put the words you confess to action.
Conscious steps has to be taken to sustain the bond in your marriage and the best way to sustain this bond is through friendship.
Don't ever forget this:
You must consciously determine to sustain the friendship in your marriage.
Marriage without friendship cannot thrive in this busy world.
FRIENDSHIP means a wide range of things: companionship, togetherness, vulnerability.
*Companionship
*Togetherness
*Vulnerability
Research has shown that couples that are friends have a higher Percentage of marital satisfaction.
This means friendship is key in having a happy, successful and lasting marriage.
Jesus Christ gave us the definition of true friendship.
He is the perfect example of who a friend should be.
He laid down his life for us (his friends)
John 15:13-15
13 Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.
14 Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you.
15 Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you.
He's the friend that stick closer than a brother
*Friendship is Giving
John 13:15
Jesus gave up his life for us
Once friendship is established in marriage giving won't be an issue.
You will be able to give your substances, time, prayer etc
Handling of finances won't be an issues. I'm sure we've seen individuals who call the family money 'My Money'.
The issue is Lack of friends.
Friends are meant to give up anything for themselves
They share and are not possesive
# The role of friendship in a relationship
*Friendship in marriage helps to build emotional and physical intimacy.
Friendship is the foundation for intimacy.
It plays a big role in emotional and physical intimacy.
*Friendship in marriage helps to deal with emotional attachment with outsiders
Let me shed more light on this....
Being friends with your spouse will help you to be transparent and opened with him/her.
You will be free to tell her anything especially when you notice that you are getting emotionally attached with someone else.
Instead of hiding it from him/her.
And you both will be able to handle the issue appropriately
I'll like to conclude by outlining practical steps to creating friendship with your spouse
Friendship has to be nourished and nurtured consistently to maintain the bond of marriage.
Creating and sustaining friendship requires TIME and ENERGY.
Here are some practical ways to sustain friendship in marriage:
#Practical ways to sustain friendship in marriage
1. Prioritization
Prioritize or prefer your partner's companionship above all others.
Before taking any decision especially with work consider your marriage first.
Look forward to spending time with your partner.
2. Stick together
A true and genuine friend is someone who sticks closer than a brother.
Do you know what it means to stick closer than brother? It means to be there for someone more than a family member will be.
Perfect example of this type if friendship is what existed between David and Jonathan.
He knew that King Saul (his father) was after David, he still risked his life interceding for David before his father.
I'll like to pick a lesson from there:
Its our sole responsibility to defend our spouse anywhere, even before our family members, remember you are one with him/her.
Don't allow them to disrespect or belittle your partner even if he/she is wrong.
Any correction or reprove should be done behind closed doors
3.Communication
This is very important in building friendship.
(Next month we are going to talk more on communication skill)
To build intimacy Transparency is necessary
You should be able to tell your spouse anything
4. Interest
Find common interest and engage in it.
Explore the interest of your partner even if its not your interest
Finally
5. Have fun, play and laugh together
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