Most problems that arise in marriages are COURTSHIP problems. It is either the couples were so blindly in-love, that they ignored courtship, or they were courting in ignorance.
Eitherway, courtship is not a passive exercise to 'fulfill all righteousness'. It is an important process to develop friendship and understanding, and to dream together, develop your values and cultures e.t.c.
To have a successful marriage, you have to pay close attention to your courtship period. The 'first day' of your Marriage is not the wedding day but the day you started courting.
Some couples start their courting after marriage; they realize there is so much they don't understand about each other, which was covered by love before marriage.
Many marriages struggle through 'panel-beatings' and stitching, because of bad foundation.
I'm sure many of us know of marriages where the couples struggle and all they do is to endure all through. Marriage is to be ENJOYED, not ENDURED.
Psalm 11:3 says If the foundations be destroyed, what can the righteous do?
Foundations cannot be laid after roofing the house. The perfect period to build a strong foundation for your marriage is during COURTSHIP.
As we go deeper into Courtship, I will like to tell you that a very important key to successful courtship is ACCOUNTABILITY.
If you are in a relationship and you and your partner are not answering or answerable to any authority, the chances of failure are extremely high.
It is very important you submit your relationship to someone with an admirable marriage! The Bible says we should follow Men who through faith lay hold on the promises.
IN MARRIAGE, TWO SHALL BECOME ONE. THAT IS ONENESS!
The concept of Oneness forms the foundational framework for understanding God's plan for Marriage.
The core purpose of courtship is to aspire towards oneness.
Oneness is fully consummated in Marriage.
Courtship facilitates Oneness, Marriage consumates Oneness
Amos 3:3 says Can two walk together, except they be agreed?
The period of agreement is the courtship period. 'Agreement' may sound easy, but it is one of the most challenging part of courtship.
Many disagreements that occurs in marriage could have been sorted out during courtship.
Unfortunately, some lead to unpleasant marriage life and worst still, Divorce. A lot of marriages could have being rescued from divorce if courtship was taken more seriously.
Marriage is an harvest ground for every decision you make or did not make during courtship
Today's teaching will be narrowed down to 'Spiritual Oneness in courtship'
Let's consider Oneness...
Oneness can be described as Intimacy
Oneness refers to a state of Perfect Resonance, where there is perfect agreement in decisions and actions, irrespective of differences in thoughts and desires.
This is exemplified by the 'oneness between God the Father and God the Son.'
Jesus is not just intimate with God, he is one with God. He said: I and my father are ONE -John 10:30, John 1:1
Permit me to use partners analogy. The meaning of this kind of intimacy is that:
1. He knows the heart of the partner, the Father
2. ALL his actions agree with the Father's actions (He does what he sees his father does)
Then answered Jesus and said unto them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, The Son can do nothing of himself, but what he seeth the Father do: for what things soever he doeth, these also do father Son likewise.
For the Father loveth the Son, and sheweth him all things that himself doeth: and he will shew him greater works than these, that ye may marvel. (John 5:19-20)
Then answered Jesus and said unto them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, The Son can do nothing of himself, but what he seeth the Father do: for what things soever he doeth, these also do father Son likewise.
For the Father loveth the Son, and sheweth him all things that himself doeth: and he will shew him greater works than these, that ye may marvel. (John 5:19-20)
For him to do what the partner (the father) does means he knows the heartbeat of the father. Knowing the heart of the father comes only by one means FELLOWSHIP.
Constant fellowship is very important in a relationship to achieve oneness.
As you constantly fellowship with your partner you'll catch his/her heart.
Real Intimacy/Oneness starts when you know the heart of your partner and make decisions in mutual agreement.
Fellowshipping with one another is a major way of doing this. A lot can be done when fellowshipping with your partner
When I say fellowship, I don't mean Church fellowship o😉
Since Man is a Spirit being, and the Spiritual controls the physical, i will start with 'How to Develop Spiritual Intimacy/Oneness during courtship'.
SPIRITUAL ONENESS
When it comes to intimacy, the first thing we usually think of is physical closeness or strong chemical connection.
Infact many people do all sorts just to achieve intimacy in their relationship like kissing, touching, etcetera.
Physical closeness is just a minute part of Oneness. Relationships that are established solely on physical intimacy cannot stand the test of time.
The real intimacy starts in the spirit
So what is spiritual oneness?
Spiritual Oneness is a process of reaching a point of unity, resonance, understanding and agreement of spirit in knowledge, actions and decisions.
Courtship is a period where spiritual connections are made. (Marriage is a period where the connections are used Lolz) And that is the only way to partner with God.
Remember...God is a Spirit.
Relationship is a process of self revelation.
Spiritual oneness could also mean to share the spiritual aspects of yourself with your partner through strategic activities.
Strategic Activities to achieve Spiritual Oneness
1. Teaching and Studying God's Word together.
Schedule special time to study and meditate on the word of God together. This becomes very very very.... important if you are attending different churches, or if you are in different locations.
For you to achieve spiritual oneness, you have to attain same perception of God's word and this forms the basis for spiritual resonance.
Make up your mind to prioritize God's Word above your emotions and feelings.
-Study together
-Constantly evaluate your relationship using the instrumentality of God's word
-Renew your mind constantly concerning any issue that arises in your relationship
2. Set Spiritual Goals and embark on Spiritual Projects together.
When you set goals together, encourage yourselves to reach the goals. Let the stronger teach, encourage and inspire the weaker one just as Jesus encouraged the disciples through teachings.
Embarking on spiritual projects together will give you a sense of connection and commitment towards progress. Goals setting will help you measure your growth and ensure you are advancing spiritually.
This also gives a true picture of what it means for two to walk together.
Spiritual projects keeps you busy in your relationship, and keeps the devil under your feet as you make kingdom advancements.
Ecclesiastes 4:9 says Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour.
This is a time to activate the scripture that says one shall chase a thousand and two shall put ten thousand to flight.
Thank you.
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