We are starting a new series in line with our theme for December, Communications of Love.
These days, alot of people claim to"fall in love" without realizing what or where they are falling into. 'Love is Blind' they say.
The definition of Love has millions of answers and opinions from different people.
However, the Bible gives us about four important things to say about Love.
A) Love is the person of God.
GOD IS LOVE
God is love personified
The implication of this is that if you want to understand Love, study God and Love will be unfolded and revealed to you.
1 John 4:8 says He that loveth not knoweth not God; for GOD IS LOVE
God is the embodiment of love
He is full of Love
B) Love is a Person and not a "thing"
1John 4:8, for GOD IS LOVE
Love is not a what. Love is a who
Therefore for you to Love well, you need to have PERSON of Love, which is the holy Spirit, dwelling on your inside.
The Spirit of God gives us the capacity to Love
Rom 5:5 And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts BY THE HOLY GHOST which is given unto us.
C) Love is a Fruit of your recreated Spirit.
Which means an unbeliever doesn't have the capacity to Love. The best an unbeliever can do is being nice. To all Sisters in the house, if an unbeliever brother claims to Love you.
Do not be deceived! He's just being Nice.
Nice is not even a fruit of the Spirit but Love is the fruit of the Spirit
Gal 5:22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,
D) Love is a Decision and not a Reaction
Love is an attitude of the heart or a decision. What I mean by this is that Love is a decision to be made
You decide to love someone by the strength the spirit of God supplies.
Love is not something one "falls into," something that is out of your control, something that cannot be helped.
Love is not a feeling. Love is not the butterfly or tingling feeling in your stomach. Our feelings can be influenced by things around us.
Let's go to the the topic for tonight:
Can you try to answer these questions to yourself?
1. Am I really pleasing my spouse?
2. Is my spouse enduring me or enjoying our relationship?
3. How can I introduce more fun, joy, fulfilment and excitement into our relationship?
The answer to all these questions is Understanding your Spouse's Love Language.
If you don't know what his/her love language is... Then you have not been pleasing him/her. People interpret Love based on their Love language, not based on your heart intention.
All you can do to Love is to Communicate it (Shed it). You can't save it or keep it. The essence of Love finds expression when it is communicated.
Effective communication of Love is important for the growth and development of an healthy relationship.
If you are in a relationship with a man or woman that DOES NOT LOVE YOU, or stopped loving you. What has happened is that, he/she technically stopped speaking your love language
Hence, for a start on this series, we'll be examining the Language of Gifts Surprises
One of the ways to express your Love is through Art of gift surprises.
It is one of the languages of Love
This might sound simple but it is the fundamental expression of Love which can upgrade your Love Life.
In fact there is no Love without giving. God exemplified Love to us by giving us his Son, Jesus Christ as the atonement of our Sins. John 4:16 says for God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son.
Giving is an outflow of Love. Every gift you give your spouse is a virtual symbol of your Love for him or her. That's why in wedding ceremonies there has to be an exchange of a gift which serves as the symbol of Love, it could be a ring.
#There are some basic things one need to know about giving and receiving.
- Gifts are messengers. They are tokens of how esteem we hold our spouse.
They deliver our love and our best wishes. Gifts express the fondness we have for another person.
- You don’t need to wait for an occasion in order to give a gift to your spouse. You can give to show how much you love your spouse. This is where the real surprise is. Your partner will be surprised when he/she receives a gift from you out of the blues because he/she is not expecting a gift since there's no special event coming up.
- A gift could be BOUGHT, MADE or FOUND.
Please bear in mind that you necessary don't have to buy something very expensive. What makes a gift worth more than the whole world is the care, love, or concern that accompanies the gift.
It is also important that you are creative with your giving.
- A gift must not necessarily be material, it could be in kind. You can also decide to spend some of your time with your spouse just to help out or to have fun
- A gift should not be given as a means of exchange to get something in return.
#Importance of giving surprise gifts
-Gifts could be a way to mark special occasions, show affection, or apologize for a mistake. We shouldn't be among those who forget our partners special event like birthday, wedding anniversary.
-Giving of gift makes your spouse feel special. It tells the receiver that he/she is always on your mind
-Giving of gift helps to keep in touch and build bonds between the giver and receiver. Especially for long distance relationships. This has a way of keeping you in the mind of your partner. Every time your partner sees your gift he/she remembers you.
#How do you know a perfect gift to get for your spouse
To know the perfect gift to give to your spouse you have to ask this simple question:
What matters to him or her at that period? This means you have to be very observant to know the answer to that question without asking.
You have to pay attention, listen, and observe. You have to know your partner pretty well.
For instance, your spouse might be complaining about a desperate need at that period of time. That need will be just the perfect gift to give to him/her.
Your spouse would be touched to know that you cared enough to figure out what really matters to him/her.
Please before presenting any gift to your spouse you must be sure he/she will love it. Find out what they like from close relatives such as siblings or parents.
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