I want to thank Ms Joy Blessing and her team for the invitation to minister tonight. Tonight's topic is: "Sacrifice in Relationships"
1. I want to start with a basic definition of sacrifice: the act of giving up
something that you want to keep especially in order to get or do
something else or to help someone. Every relationship involves some
form of sacrifice.
- Sacrifice in friendships: Proverbs 18:24 “A man with friends is to show
himself friendly” - In order to show yourself friendly, you will sacrifice
something; time, energy, resources, etc
- Sacrifice in parenting: Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he
should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it."
Training a child take sacrifice: teaching, disciple, etc.
- Sacrifice in marriage: Ephesians 5:22,25 "22 Wives, submit yourselves
unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord; 25 Husbands, love your wives,
even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it”
Submission takes sacrifice. A husband loving his wife as Christ takes
sacrifice
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2. Now we must understand that sacrifices are NOT convenient. A
sacrifice is an offering (something that you give; a gift; a contribution); it
will cost you but it is worth it.
When making a sacrifice, the key is to focus on the bigger picture, not on
temporary things. When you make a sacrifice, you are sowing a
seed...harvest is inevitable. As long as you sow in faith; and sow
cheerfully. God loves a cheerful giver and so does everyone else.
In the garden of Gethsemane, Jesus had to make a sacrifice; He had to
sacrifice his Will for the father's (Matthew 26:39); he did this so that we
could have eternal life. He wanted to give up at a point but he focused on
the reward. The reward is always greater than the sacrifice itself.
Like I stated earlier, there is sacrifice at every level of relationship; God
sacrificed his son; Jesus sacrificed his life. In reference to a specific type
of relationship, let us look at marriage.
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3. Sacrifices are essential components of covenants. We see many
sacrifices made into God throughout the bible. In order to keep up with
your part of the covenant, you'll have to make some sacrifices.
In relationships (marriage) sacrifices are necessary and they are
continuous.
When in a relationship, remember it is not about YOU; The word 'Relation'
speaks about a connection or bond between two components or people
and the suffix denotes a quality or condition. Therefore a relationship is a
quality bond between two people.
Sacrifices are what keep the bond intact; sacrifice is the glue that hold
marriage together. The purpose of a relationship or marriage is to be of
service to the other person
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4. In marriage, one has to make a daily decision to make sacrifices for
the advancement of one’s spouse. The greatest act of love is expressed
by sacrificing your life for others; which is what Jesus did (John 15:13).
You cannot truly say that you love someone, without being willing to
make sacrifices for them
Remember it is not about YOU.
5. Each relationship must have a clearly defined purpose; where there is
no defined purpose, abuse is inevitable. There are specific steps that
must be taken to fulfill the purpose of one’s union. Those steps involve
making sacrifices along the way.
Making sacrifices becomes easier when a couple decides to honor God
and learns to always agree on the authority of God's Word.
Without agreement, there is no progress (Amos 3:3). Without sacrifices,
there is no progress
Having it your way or the highway never works in a relationship.
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6. If your way was working for you, you wouldn't need to be in a
relationship. "You can do all bad by yourself"
Love is not self-seeking; love is not about ME, MYSELF and love is not
selfish (1 Corinthians 13:5)
Love doesn’t just happen; Love is not an accident; Love starts with a
decision and continues to flourish by renewing that decision daily. And
guess What? That decision in itself is a SACRIFICE
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7. Love takes effort; Love takes work. When I was a young girl, I always
daydreamed about marriage. In my day dreams, all I saw was smiles.
Waking up happy to someone and falling asleep in that person’s arms
with so much contentment.
After getting married, I got a wakeup call I discovered that in
order for me to enjoy my marriage I had to make sacrifices even when I
didn’t feel like it.
Sacrifices have nothing to do about your feelings. You don't have to feel it
to do it. Learn to control your feelings, submit them to the authority of
God's Word
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8. I discovered that marriage is not a walk in the park. I also discovered
that the best way to get my husband to change, was to make some
changes myself…at last, I was not perfect and my husband wasn’t
neither.
Sacrifice involves dying to self daily. The goal of marriage is oneness not
individuality; there is power in oneness. Jesus understood his oneness
with the father and was able to do great things while on earth.
It is okay to have different perspectives on an issue; but aim for unity; at
times you may have to agree to disagree; but remember that surely there
is an end; the sacrifice may give temporary discomfort, but the rewards
are everlasting.
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9. Don't focus on getting your needs met; focus on meeting the needs of
your spouse and your needs will be met automatically (remember you will
reap what you sow)
One day I went before the Lord complaining about my husband and he
told me something that I’d never forget: “Your husband is not your
source, I AM your source”.
Soon after I realized, that I was placing unrealistic expectations on my
husband; many people find it difficult to make sacrifices because they
feel like their needs aren’t being met by their spouses.
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10. Don’t be distracted, do your part and everything will fall into place.
Remember the reward is always greater than the sacrifice; just like the
harvest is always greater than the seed. It will cost you but it benefits of
sacrifice out ways the costs. But you will never regret it! That's all I have for you all today.
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