For today's meeting I will be focusing on partners (husband and wife/ fiance and fiancee).
Firstly, we for those that don't know what stress is ( mostly the love is blind couples), STRESS is an emotional pressure suffered by a human being inflicted by people or things.
To bring it home,
+ When Mom's face looks bad after a long conversation and she takes it on the children. (Stress)
+ When the wife makes a monetary demand and the husband flares up (stress)
+ When the man comes back from work and wants decorum everywhere (stress)
Now I can go on and on, but I believe by now, we all know what stress is.
Now big brother, Isaac Newton said 😔
"to every action, their's an equal and opposite reaction"
What happens most of the time is that he/she interprets stress related touchiness as you being angry with him/her
I would like to briefly highlight major causes of stress.
(clears throat)
I believe their's no underage in this group,lol
Because I'm going to mention what they shouldn't hear for now.
Research has shown that the major needs of Men are their greatest sources of stress.
However, if you want to understand the Purpose of a Man, you must understand the Assignment God gave him.
The Assignment is from Genesis 1:26
+ Be Fruitful,
+ Have Dominion,
+ Replenish the Earth.
Thus you can equally group that the needs of man naturally stem from his assignment.
1) Money
2) Respect
3) Sex
1. Money
* fruitfulness, which is man's first assignment means to bear fruits and make good impact, transform the environment for good
This requires financial buoyancy.
Finances can easily become a source of
stress and worry within your marriage ,in fact it is one of the Common sources of stress
When Money is available, the stress is reduced.
The wife will get her needs and all becomes well.
But immediately the following becomes a prayer point...
+ Bills
+ House rent
+ School fees
+ Child expenses
+ Feeding and rest
Then Stress starts growing Muscles 💪
do you remember the old saying...
"an hungry man is an angry man"
+ Every one in the family knows when Dad needs money because he becomes touchy and he puts on a frowning face
* The resulting stress and strain
can impact on both individuals and other members of the family, and consequently lead to other unhealthy habits like heated arguments and prolonged malice.
Solution
Do you all want to hear the Solution to relationship free of Financial Stress
The Answer Is Financial Intelligence.
FINANCIAL INTELLIGENCE is simply the ability to manage your income and expenditure effectively
Never spend more than you earn.
It will only lead to poverty and generate internal heat.
The partners should go for financial education in how to save, invest, and multiply money.
2. Respect
For your Man to exercise the Dominion Mandate, he is wired to be "the Man" - which is Authority.
+ Every man naturally wants to be respected and valued, that is why they normally smile when you say "you are the Man, what should we do?" Abi Men in the house?
+ Unfortunately, when the man goes to work, he usually meets things that robs him of his Ego.
When he gets home, he wants a palace where he can feel like a king.
Solution
Honour
Our Guest Speaker Last week, Mr. Muyiwa Adigun, taught us on the honor code
NOBODY SHOULD TALK TO YOUR SPOUSE BETTER THAN YOU
Find out what they like, giving it to them gives them honor.
3. Sex
Mmmmmmh, Men close your eyes please, 😂
God told Man to replenish the heart.
So men are wired to be sexually active.
+ Myles Munroe once said Men don't just like Sex,
They need Sex because they are created to procreate
Note o, he doesn't want sex he needs sex
That is also why he is always ready anytime, he doesn't have any form of circles, menstrual of womenstrual, lols
😏😉
# when the man does not get sexual satisfaction, he is naturally stressed
Solution
The solution is for each partner to understand the each other's needs and that the body of the man belongs to his wife, and vice versa.
Finally WOMEN
💃💃💃💃💃
A woman is called to be an help meet
So naturally, they are wired to demand
*Attention
*Affection
Mmmmh, I remember a joke that a guy once asked God to construct a very bridge and God said it was too long, that he should make another request
So the guy said God should help him understand women
God shook his head, and said I will go with the First option.
A WOMAN HAS FOUR SEASONS
* Summer
* Winter
* Spring
*Autumn
That is to say, what works yesterday may not work today with a woman.
Always be sensitive to her emotions
Finally realize that a good marriage is built on a SENSITIVE man, and on an UNDERSTANDING wife.
*Understanding is very basic.
Without understanding things could from good to worse within a short time.
Know who he/she is, his/ her personality, what he/she wants.
Know what works for your partner when he/she feels stressed out.
Let me share a thought from John Gray
Living with the same person can over time, eventually become very boring, if they are not regularly changing.
Staying fresh is crucial for both partners in a marriage.
Just as listening to a favorite song a hundred times in a row makes it grow stale, so also can our partners become boring if they do not grow and change.
If husbands and wives do not continue to grow and change, they eventually lose interest in each other.
Different things works for different people.
Some people would love to be left alone for some time before addressing the issue causing the stress
-your partner might need you to crack jokes or gist with him/her to ease up the stress (personally this works for me a lot )
-He/she might just need you to listen to her as she complains about her stress.
🙏Don't ever compare your Man with another Man,
It is breaks his Ego
Even when he does not meet up to your expectations, always inspire him and stick with him to encourage him as a good help meet
I will suggest that you couples engage in the following activities together regularly
1. Worship God, dance together and be grateful to God together
humbles you before God.
Worship helps you to understand why you need to totally trust God rather than stressing yourself out over any issue.
2. Study together
When their is a knowledge gap, the two partners think in different ways and
As a man thinker in his heart, so is he
3. Prayer
Many become stressed out because they don't trust God to provide the basic necessities of life
They worry about providing for themselves and their loved ones.
Let God be the Source and Sustained of the family
So it won't matter what season you are going through.
You know for sure that, all is well
Remember,
in everything by prayer and supplication with Thanksgiving let your request be made known unto God. Phil 4 6
4. Fellowship
Encourage quality fellowship in the family
Fellowship with God and constant retreats
Also schedule time for fun and communication
While fellowshipping with the spirit of God
*you see into your day and know how it will go
*you receive strenght for the day
*you receive words or direction on how to ease up your day
Also Note. 📝
Don't expect him/her to be your source of Joy.
Your Spouse too needs Joy. In asking him for joy, you will be demanding for what he can’t supply.
He is human and is subject to mistakes.
In fact, his action can hurt you intentionally / unintentionally .
Rather, let God be your source of Joy while your spouse is a supplement to your "Joy reservoir".
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