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What the Jews know about Parenting, by 'feranme Adewuyi




My assignment today is to inspire people and families that will raise and train generational leaders. Since the day I heard that “the success of a father is best measured by the quality of the life of his grandchildren”, I started preparing for my grandchildren.

What is the most important word in parenting? Is it money? No, I don’t think so. Neither is it comfort nor happiness. The most important word in parenting is TRAINING.
Your money can give the child a good life, but help him become an oppressor to the society. Your love can give the child protection but make him a weakling among peers. The only thing that can alter the life-trajectory or the course  of a child’s life and significantly position him enroute purpose and life success is GOOD HOME TRAINING.
King Solomon said:
KJV: Train up a child in the way that he should go; and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
NIV: Start children off on the way they should go, and even when are old they will not turn from it.
Proverbs 22:6

In other words, the future path the child is determined by the “training”. Unfortunately, training has been greatly misunderstood and abused in the society today. For instance, if a father says; I want to train the child. Most likely, he is saying I want to be responsible for his education.
Training is not just about giving the child ‘education’, or spanking the child whenever he/she is wrong. Training encompasses every activity aimed at character development in the child.
My fear however is, if the child today is not properly trained, what is the expectation of the future? You can only give what you have. My mentor says “the private victory of the father becomes an inheritance of the child.”

I love the way AMPLIFIED version captures Proverbs 22:6
Train up a child in the way he should go [and in keeping up with his individual gift or bent], and when he is old enough he will not depart from it.
Now let us carefully look at two things from the verse:
1. Individual Gift, or
2. Bent
Every child has these two attributes. However, most adults lose them while growing up. Individual Gift refers to the gifting and talents embedded in the child’s DNA. As a parent, don’t try to change it. Help your child discover and nurture their talents. 
Unfortunately, many children stay in the shadows of their parents or mentors, they never discover their inherent gifting. Their parents did not do their job.
Bent refers to the child’s life direction. Every child has bent and every bent has two properties. These are the ‘direction and the destination’. These two form the identity of the child. Both the direction and destination were predetermined before birth, don’t you dare alter them. Your child is a purpose encryption going somewhere to make positive impact. Don’t change his/her bent.
Psalm 127:3-4 says “children are the heritage of the lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Psalm 127:3-4

In the next few minutes, I will be sharing some basic philosophies of Jewish culture on parenting. Most of us are not unaware of the historical details of the Jews, as traceable to Judah, Jacob, Isaac and father Abraham. 
The Jewish culture forms the basis for their values, principles, and everything that cumulates to their belief systems. This culture is established over thousands of years and it emerged from their dealings with God at different dispensations. Hence, even when they were scattered from the Promised Land, they still stand out wherever they land, be it Egypt, Babylon or USA.
Dislocation has never succeeded in dislocating the Jews from making impact. Let me quickly share some amazing statistics about their huge success in recent times:

 In Nuclear Physics, Jews were so dominant in the field of nuclear physics in Europe throughout the 1930’s that it was often referred to as “Jewish physics.”

Also,  in the 20th century alone, Jews have played key roles in shaping the modern world, as examples 
* Physicist, Albert Einstein;
* Sigmund Freud, the father of psychoanalysis, 
* Communism’s Karl Marx;
* Developers of the polio vaccine Dr’s Jonas Salk and Albert Sabin; 
* Leading developers of the first atomic bomb, as inspired by Einstein’s theories – 
among them, 
Felix Bloch, 
Niels Bohr, 
Otto Frisch,
 Robert Oppenheimer,
 Leo Szilard, and 
Edward Teller
Just to mention but a few. 

Also, in New York in 1954, it is said that 28 children in the New York City public school system were found to have IQ’s of 170 or higher – 24 of which were Jewish.
And today, we have the likes of Mark Zuckerberg and Micheal Dell in the Silicon Valley

The question is what is special about this set of people, and why this consistent success over thousands of years? The answer is based divine (covenant promised of YHWH), and also established on certain principles. The nature makes it easy, and the principle makes it sustainable. Stability of Success is impossible without wisdom and knowledge. Isaiah 33:6 says “and wisdom and knowledge shall be the stability of thy times, and strength of salvation”
I will briefly share on a fundamental belief of the jews that influences their actions, forms their convictions and serve as a law of success.
In “Talmud Wisdom”, it is believed that a parent must teach their child three things:
1. The Bible
2. A Trade
3. Swimming

These three things are expected to wholly develop the child into a fully functional adult, who is sound academically, balanced emotionally and even socially on point

🅰 The Bible
The Jews expect their children to learn the Torah from a very tender age
The Jews see the study of Torah as an intellectual pursuit.

Unfortunately today, western countries are eliminating the Bible and inadvertently eliminating morality and sanity from the institutions. Don't leave your child to the mercy of the uncultured institutions. Teach them from tender age the CULTURE OF THE BIBLE:

Faith
Love Walk
Righteousness 
Charity
Godly Reverence

Every culture has a language, let your children speak the language of the Bible from a tender age. If they lack the fear of the Lord, they LACK WISDOM

🅱 TRADE

The trade refers to skills development and Educational development. 
Jews don't joke with education. If you get to their houses, you will see libraries, books and bookshelves. Intellectual wealth is not valuable, it is the first thing. .. Wisdom is the Principal Thing!

Many Scientists actually believe that it is the Jews and Christianity that determined and shaped the climate and culture of modern day civilization

Teaching of a Trade also involves skills development, and  that would give the child a global edge. skills such as communication skills, entrepreneurial skills, financial management skills. In fact, at the age of 13, a Jew male child enters Bar Mitzvar, where he learns a trade and enrols in the school of Wisdom.

Finally 
C. Swimming 
This might be intriguing, but I believe it is symbolic for some vital principles of success. While learning how to swim, a child learns basic principles of success

Faith: Without Faith in the possibility of learning something new, success becomes an impossible task. Swimming requires a demonstration of faith from the child. 
It also instills self confidence in the child, without which success will be formidable. Also, it teaches him the power of progressive development.One of my mentors said: If you can learn the principles of success on one single task, you can extend it to many other tasks. 

Many people's failure is because they never mastered the principles of success from basics. Unfortunately, what a Jewish child learns at early as age 13, some grown ups elsewhere are still battling with it in other cultures. 


While a Jewish boy of age 15 has already been taught financial independence and stewardship...
Some 30 year olds are still accusing their 'parents', for not supporting them financially. While a Jewish boy had a world view for his skill or education at the age of 15, and later develops applications that would shape the world
Some 35 year olds are still saying "when I grow up"

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